I Was the Iconic Line Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Candid Conversation.
The Austrian Oak is best known as an iconic tough guy. But, during the peak of his cinematic dominance in the eighties and nineties, he also delivered several surprisingly great comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its 35-year mark this December.
The Story and The Famous Scene
In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger embodies a undercover cop who masquerades as a elementary educator to track down a criminal. During the movie, the investigation plot acts as a simple backdrop for Schwarzenegger to film humorous scenes with children. Arguably the most famous belongs to a child named Joseph, who spontaneously stands up and declares the stoic star, “Males have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger responds dryly, “I appreciate the insight.”
The boy behind the line was portrayed by former young actor Miko Hughes. His career included a recurring role on Full House as the bully to the child stars and the haunting part of the resurrected boy in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with several projects in development. Furthermore, he engages with fans at the con circuit. He recently discussed his experiences from the filming of the classic 35 years later.
A Young Actor's Perspective
Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.
Wow, I can't remember being four. Do you remember anything from that time?
Yeah, a little bit. They're flashes. They're like picture memories.
Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?
My family, especially my mother would bring me to auditions. Often it was a mass tryout. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all patiently queue, be seen, be in there less than five minutes, deliver a quick line they wanted and that's all. My parents would feed me the lines and then, once I learned to read, that was some of the first material I was reading.
Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?
He was very kind. He was fun. He was nice, which I guess stands to reason. It would be strange if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that likely wouldn't create a productive set. He was fun to be around.
“It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”
I understood he was a huge celebrity because I was told, but I had barely seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — it was exciting — but he didn't frighten me. He was just fun and I only wanted to hang out with him when he was available. He was busy, obviously, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd tense up and we'd be hanging off. He was incredibly giving. He purchased for each child in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was like an iPhone. That was the hottest tech out there, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It wore out in time. I also was given a authentic coach's whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all got a whistle as well.
Do you remember your days on set as being enjoyable?
You know, it's funny, that movie became a phenomenon. It was a huge film, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the legendary director, the location shoot, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the original Game Boy was brand new. That was the hot thing, and I was proficient. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would bring me their Game Boys to beat difficult stages on games because I was able to, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all childhood recollections.
That Famous Quote
OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember how it happened? Did you know what you were saying?
At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word provocative meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it got a big laugh. I knew it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given approval in this case because it was funny.
“She really wrestled with it.”
How it originated, based on what I was told, was they were still developing characters. A few scenes were established early on, but once they had the kids together, it was more of a collaboration, but they refined it on set and, I suppose it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "I need to consider this, I need time" and took a short while. She deliberated carefully. She said she was hesitant, but she believed it will probably be one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and she was right.